


Liquid Courage

by Quarantinevibes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I forget how much I like writing Remus until I write Remus, I just want them to be happy, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Mild descriptions of blood, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Platonic Relationships, Swearing, Virgil is just a giant flirt, but alcohol mentioned, for reasons that will become clear, for reasons that will become clear again, no actual alcohol, set after POF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quarantinevibes/pseuds/Quarantinevibes
Summary: After the argument over how the wedding went leaves the sides in disarray, Virgil has a master plan for getting his famILY back together. But, while helping with one of Logan’s experiments, Virgil is accidentally overexposed to one of its effects. Now, armed only with a vague list and an begrudging prince, will they be able to reverse its effects before it’s too late?ORRoman helps everyone before he helps himself and Virgil isn’t drunk but really, he might as well be.Complete!
Comments: 501
Kudos: 748





	1. Virgil

Virgil took a deep breath in. Today was the day.

It had been two days after Lee and Mary Lee had come over and hung out with Thomas, a few weeks after the wedding. For Thomas, the issue was still something he thought about, but the appearance of his friends had made him feel much better about the situation.

As for the rest of the sides, that wasn’t exactly the case.

Everything was tense, so _unbelievably_ tense. Virgil was glad that he had already blocked out when each side went to the kitchen to get food (a remnant from before he was accepted) so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the palpable tension whenever more than two of them were in the same room. Patton tried to act normally, but Logan and Roman were both icy. Janus (and whoa was it weird to finally use his real name) was hanging around a lot more, but only really talking to Patton. Only Remus was acting normally which, in Virgil’s opinion, wasn’t exactly comforting.

Virgil had hoped to wait out the awkwardness. After all, it was his decision to stay out of the last video because he knew it was an issue that Patton and Roman should work out together. But then Janus had joined the fray and now no one was talking to anyone and everyone was avoiding everyone and goddammit it should not take this much thinking to make himself a sandwich and-

Virgil took in another breath.

The issue had not blown over. That was the bottom line and Virgil was the _last_ person who wanted to tackle it, but it seemed that he was the only one who was objective enough to do it. Virgil shook his pockets and grabbed a small, crumpled paper from inside as well as a pen and began to write.

Virgil’s Master Plan for being able to eat a sandwich without wanting to Internally Combust!

  1. Logan- doesn’t like being ignored. Probably the easiest to talk to, listen to him/ validate
  2. Patton- sad? Guilty? Probably?? Doesn’t say when he’s upset, maybe get him to open up with brownies or cookies??
  3. Remus- practically living his best life tbh. Make sure he’s good with Roman I guess
  4. ~~The hiss bitch~~ ~~hissy fit~~ ~~the fake snake~~ Janus- truth is I don’t like him. Find out if he’s really evil to protect Thomas
  5. Roman- upset about callback, has somehow jumped to the conclusion that he’s not a hero anymore- fix that ASAP



The list was written in special ink so that only the names and numbers were visible to anyone who wasn’t Virgil. Virgil sighed and folded it back into his pocket, he took a deep breath and mentally imagined himself filling his empathy tanks. This task would take a whole lot of emotional work, and Virgil needed to prepare himself.

The first person on his list was also his first stop. Virgil got up from his bed, cracked his back, and peeked out his room. No one was in the kitchen or the common room which meant that Logan was most likely in his own room. Virgil padded across the hallway and stood in front of Logan’s door. He heard bustling and clinking coming from the inside, confirming that Logan was, indeed, inside. Virgil lifted his hand and knocked. The sound from inside came to an abrupt stop.

“L? You in there?” Virgil asked and he heard a soft _clink_ and footsteps. The door opened and Virgil took a step back.

He had been preparing himself for several scenarios: sad, despondent Logan with swept down hair, Logan with tear tracks running down his face, Logan with eye bags or frown lines.

In reality, Logan stood in front of him wearing a long, white lab coat and large googles that were plastered across his face. Something bright purple stained the edges of his coat and his brain with glasses insignia was embroidered in dark blue over one of his pockets.

“Hello Virgil,” Logan said.

“Uhhh,” Virgil responded, a little dumbly considering all his preparation. Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Is there something you needed?” he asked.

Virgil shook his head. So-so Logan did not look like what he had pictured. So what, he would-just have to go with the flow.

“Um, no not really, I was just kind of bored and wondering what you were doing,” Virgil glanced inside, genuinely curious. Logan adjusted his glasses and let the anxious side into his room. Virgil’s eyes widened even more.

Logan’s desk had been transformed into a lab bench with a deep sink in the middle and tall wire racks on either side. The left side of the bench had a fume hood with an assortment of bottles and pipes built for distillation. The right side of the bench had a small, capped Erlenmeyer flask with a shimmering silver liquid inside.

“This is amazing,” he muttered quietly at the display and picked up the flask, “What, what is all this Lo?”

Logan pushed his glasses up his nose, smirking at Virgil’s obvious awe.

“A hobby,” he said simply and opened the notebook that was open on the desk, “In my free time, I like to make ways for Thomas to more efficiently access certain emotions or thoughts. For example, I can link his memories to a certain smell or,” he pointed to the bottle in Virgil’s hands, “link a preferred emotion to an easily accessed thought.”

Virgil swirled the flask a little, admiring how it glittered, “So what’s this then?” he asked.

“That,” Logan said, his smirk turning into a proud smile, “is something I’ve been working on for a while. Liquid courage.”

Virgil’s eyebrows shot up and he put the flask down.

“Logan,” he turned to look at the logical side, “have you been getting drunk in your room this whole time?”

Logan blinked, “What?”

Virgil pointed to the flask and Logan blinked again in confusion.

“This is liquid courage?” Virgil asked.

“Yes?”

“ _Liquid_ Courage?”

“Yes, Virgil. I don’t see what that has to do with alcohol.”

Virgil sighed, a little in relief and a little in exasperation. He knocked Logan on the head gently.

“Liquid courage is an idiom for alcohol, teach. Looks like you didn’t know that though.”

“Oh,” Logan said, wide eyed. He summoned his small stack of notecards and wrote down the new term, “Well, I can promise that this has no alcoholic component. It simply grants the user the courage to finish a task they set out to accomplish. Of course, for Thomas it would work as a source of inspiration. Like a favorite quote or memory.”

“Huh,” Virgil said, eyeing the flask suspiciously, “But for us, it’s in the form of a… potion?”

“A solution. It’s not magic, Virgil.”

“Right,” Virgil said and put it down. While Logan’s ‘solutions’ were interesting, Virgil had a job to do. He turned around, preparing himself to talk to Logan about what had happened that day, and stopped. Logan had a small frown and was tapping his chin incessantly.

“Logan? What is it?” Virgil asked and Logan looked up.

“Well, I’ve just finished my first version of the Liquid Courage, but I haven’t gotten the chance to test it. I can’t test it on myself because I wouldn’t be objective enough,” he looked up at Virgil, “You can absolutely say no, but-”

“You want me to help test it?” Virgil asked and Logan gave a small nod.

“If you’re comfortable with that.”

Virgil shivered. An untested solution with possibly unexpected side effects? Usually, his immediate answer would be _No thank you and good bye forever_ , but Logan seemed excited about his experiment. His eyes twinkling behind his glasses and his eyebrows slightly raised and it was _really_ hard to say no to that face. And honestly? He could use a little extra courage for his task. Virgil gave a small nod and Logan lit up.

“Great! You can drink one drop and then we can monitor how the solution affects you from there. Of course, we need a control so I may have to ask you a few questions beforehand and I’ll take consistent time measurements to see how the efficacy of the solution works over a certain time period to observe whether it plateaus or not though I am currently working on a rather time sensitive venture right now so I can’t be away from my desk for too long though I suppose we can simply stay in this room and it won’t be a problem, though adding the variable of environment may be interesting if-”

Virgil’s eyes glazed over at the info dump. He tried to pay attention, he really did, but Logan was talking very fast and excitedly, his hands moving is all directions as he buzzed around the room, gathering materials. Virgil eyed the flask. So he was just supposed to drink it? Virgil took a deep breath, shrugged, and knocked the flask back, emptying the solution into his mouth. It was smooth and pleasantly sweet, tasting like what a candle smelt like: a combination of honey, blackcurrant and something else that Virgil couldn’t quite place. He felt a warm glow spread through him, from the bottom of his diaphragm outwards to his fingertips, but other than that, Virgil didn’t feel too different.

He turned back to Logan who had his hands filled with so many items that his face was covered: papers, a timer, pencils, some goggles dangling from his fingers, and other miscellaneous gadgets. Logan shuffled the things and successfully fished out a plastic pipette.

“Ok! We can use this to get a drop of the solution for you to try, are you ready?”

Virgil glanced at the empty bottle.

“Ah. Um. Not sure we’ll need that, L.”

“Nonsense! Accurate measurements are salient to ensure that an experiment is properly carried out, now,” he said and reached lowered his hands so he could see the flask, “let’s get the-”

Suddenly, Logan dropped everything in his hands. He ran frantically up to his bench and grabbed the empty flask.

“Wha-what happened to the solution?!” he asked and Virgil cocked his head at him.

“I drank it.”

“You-!” he screeched and held Virgil’s shoulders, “You drank it?! All of it??”

Now normally, being held at close distance to an obviously distraught side would freak Virgil out to no end, but for some reason the abrupt tension that would usually flood him, causing him to haunch his shoulders and tense his muscles, didn’t come. Virgil gave Logan a lazy smile.

“Yep. You did say to take a shot of it, didn’t you?”

“A drop! I said a drop!”

“Oh,” Virgil shrugged, the harrowing possibilities of swallowing an excessive quantity of an experimental solution not bothering him in the slightest, “oops.”

“Oops? _Oops?_ OOPS DOES NOT BEGIN TO DESCRIBE,” Logan started, his voice high and scratchy. Virgil pawed at his ears a little as Logan took a deep breath and straightened his tie.

“This,” he said and grabbed Virgil while walking out of his room, “is quite the predicament.”


	2. Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is definitely feeling the effects of the solution-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy the chapter! :D

“Where we goin’?” Virgil asked in a singsong voice while letting himself be pulled along by Logan.

“Common room. I, after dropping my things there was too much clutter in my room and I couldn’t think, but,” Logan stopped and slapped his head, “ _dammit_ ,” he seethed, “I have another experiment going on right now that needs close monitoring, but,” he sent a worried glance at Virgil. Virgil put a hand on Logan’s shoulders.

“Hey, hey. No worries, L, everything is A-OK here in Virgil-ville. City of the Virge, population one cool cat,” Virgil pointed to himself and gave Logan a thumbs up.

“Oh dear Newton,” Logan muttered and pulled Virgil into the common room, nearly melting when he saw that someone else was there.

“Roman!” Logan screamed and Roman startled back from his position on the couch. He turned back and blinked at the pair.

“Oh, Logan. I can leave, don’t mind me,” he said and began to get up.

“No!” Logan yelled.

“No?” Roman asked and sat back down hesitantly. Virgil stretched. The couch was looking pretty comfortable, but Roman was in the spot where Virgil would normally put his head.

Virgil smirked, there was an easy solution that Virgil was surprised he had never thought of before. Virgil jumped up and flung himself onto the couch, letting his head rest on Roman’s lap.

Roman blinked, going completely still for a moment before flushing.

“Uh, ah, Virgil? Did you, did you want me to move?”

“Nope!” Virgil said, popping the ‘p’, “this is perfect. Super comfy. You’ve got great thighs, Princey.”

Roman sputtered, flushing a deeper red, before looking desperately up at Logan who was pinching his nose.

“He had a little too much Liquid Courage,” Logan explained and Roman made a sound that was half shriek, half garbled gasp.

“You got Virgil _drunk_?” he squeaked.

“What?!” Logan asked, bewildered for a moment before realization hit him, “Oh. No, not the idiom for alcohol, he drank actual, proper, liquid courage. One of my solutions. He was supposed to only have a drop but, he drank the entire flask which is causing his current, strange behavior.”

“Oh,” he started and drew back Virgil’s bangs to check his temperature. The feeling against his scalp felt amazing and when Roman took his hand away, Virgil pouted and grabbed Roman’s hand back and placed it on his head. Roman stared for a moment before hesitantly carding his hands through Virgil’s hair and Virgil let out a contented hum.

“And uh, how long is his er,” Roman looked down, “new point of view going to last?”

Virgil looked up and grinned, “Actually, I’m enjoying the view from here just fine.”

Roman stopped and covered his face with his hands.

“Logannnn,” Roman whined and Logan sighed.

“I. I’m not sure. Since this was only my first batch, I hypothesized that a drop of it would last about half an hour. But the entire flask? It could,” Logan stopped and silently put up a few fingers as he counted before he paled and rubbed his face, “it could last… a while.”

“A _while_?”

Logan put up his hands, “Yes? Maybe? I don’t know, I don’t think we should wait it out though. While courage is not directly contradictory to Virgil’s functions, _recklessness_ is. I don’t know what the effects of prolonged exposure could do to him but,” Logan brightened, walked towards the pair on the couch, and knelt down, “actually, there may be another way. The solution is supposed to help one finish a task with courage. Virgil, did you have any task in mind when you drank the solution?”

Virgil tilted his head back and let out a hum. He remembered thinking that he may need courage for something that he wanted to do today, but everything from the day was hazy before the moment he drank the solution. What did he want to do today? Right now, he wanted to maybe nap for a bit, maybe he’d do something exciting after his nap! He could go bungee jumping in the imagination! He’d always been curious as to why people liked it, but something always held him back. But what was there to be scared of?

“Virgil?” Roman prodded and Virgil looked up and shrugged.

“I dunno. I think, oh!” he shot up and shoved his hands in his pockets, “I made a list!”

Virgil unfolded his list and showed it proudly to the other two, expectant sides. Logan tilted his head.

“This. This is just a list of all our names.”

Virgil frowned and turned the paper, “Oh, yeah. I wrote it with special ink so only the person who wrote it could read it.”

“Ok, well what does it say?” Roman asked and Virgil shrugged.

“Dunno. Can’t read it.”

“But you just said-!”

“Ah, I said that only the person who wrote it could read it, but since I can’t really remember writing it, I guess that means I’m not the same person?” he tilted his head, “Whoa. That’s a mind bender, ah well.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Roman yelled and yelped when Virgil flopped back onto his lap. Logan put a finger to his chin.

“Well, actually, philosopher John Locke once proposed a theory of personal identity. It posited that the personality or self is based on memory rather that some ether substance like the soul. Lose the memory, and lose the identity. This is fascinating. Though you haven’t lost all your memory, the ink is reacting as if you are a different person. I wonder if-”

Logan stopped and blushed. He looked away.

“Ah. Sorry. Guess I’m rambling again.”

“It’s ok, it’s cute,” Virgil said from Roman’s lap, but Logan only looked more downcast.

“It’s not helpful,” Logan muttered and sighed. Roman frowned.

“That’s not true specs,” he said and Logan looked up in surprise. Roman swallowed a few times. The two of them hadn’t really been in the same room much since the wedding and Roman hesitantly met Logan’s eyes.

“Logan, I know things have been…tense lately. Are we-Are we good?”

Logan blinked and looked down. “Well, that’s debatable since the terms good and bad can be viewed as arbitrary.”

Roman sighed, “That’s…not what I meant,” Roman shifted and Virgil giggled as his head bounced with the movement, “I meant after the last video. I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it but, did something happen when you got pulled off? Are you ok? Are,” Roman looked away, “Are we ok?”

Logan stared at Roman and Roman shifted again as the silence dragged on. Finally, Logan spoke.

“Nothing in particular happened to me. Janus pulled me away and told me his plan, and I agreed, but,” he sighed, “I don’t know. If I’m ok.”

Roman looked up.

“I’ve been trying to listen everyone’s criticism. That I can talk too much, or share too much, or just generally _be_ too much. But, when I tried to change, I- I only ended up getting ignored.”

“Logan-”

“I don’t know if I’m ok,” Logan continued, but then his eyes softened, “but, I do know that _we’re_ ok.”

Roman blinked in surprise at that, waiting for Logan to clarify.

“I went through the footage of the last video. And…I saw that you asked about me. Almost immediately after Janus showed up.”

“Of course I did, Logan. You suddenly disappearing is an obvious cause for alarm.”

Logan shifted, moving from a kneeling position to sitting criss-crossed.

“It is?”

Roman spluttered again, “Of _course_ it is! Logan, do you understand that we wouldn’t get out of half the dilemmas we get ourselves into without you?”

“But I talk too-”

“So you tend to ramble,” Roman interrupted, “so what? It doesn’t hurt anyone and it’s obvious that you enjoy it.”

“But,” Logan huffed, not accepting Roman’s words so easily, “But- isn’t it annoying?”

Roman quirked an eyebrow at him, “Are my constant singing and dramatic outbursts annoying?”

Logan didn’t answer for a moment.

“I- I suppose the long text boxes were perhaps too much at times,” he muttered and Roman laughed, a small, but genuine laugh that filled the room and made Virgil sigh happily. Roman put a hand on Logan’s shoulder.

“Logan, we’re _friends._ Of course we’re going to get on each other’s nerves, but it doesn’t mean I’d want to change you in any way,” Roman waved a hand above him, “when my brother knocked me out, it was _you_ who saved the day. When we came back from that party, it was _you_ who talked Virgil and Thomas down. You’re a hero, Logan, you- _oomph_!”

Roman grunted as Logan suddenly tackled him with a hug. Roman only hesitated for a moment before hugging him back.

“Group hug!” Virgil cheered and struggled a little out of his position and flopped onto the two of them happily.

_Kaboom!_

Logan straightened and backed out of the hug. Roman stood up, much to Virgil’s annoyance.

“Uh. What was that?”

Logan smiled sheepishly, “That, uh. That would be one of my experiments,” he sighed and rubbed his forehead, “I can’t leave it unattended or-”

_BOOM!_

Logan winced, “or that will keep happening, but,” Logan eyed Virgil, “I can’t leave him like this either. Especially since his ‘task’ is as vague as just our names on a list.”

“Oh,” Virgil said, “I can actually read more of the list now.”

Logan and Roman blinked at Virgil before Roman slapped his own face.

“And, why-why would you wait to tell us this?”

Virgil shrugged, “Dunno. It happened while you two were talking,” Virgil waved the paper in their faces, “I can only make out some of the words though.”

Logan flinched at another sound from his room and looked at Virgil, “It must be because you accomplished something on your list! You’ve made headway on your task, what can you read?” he set a piece of paper in front of him, “Can you write it down?”

Virgil frowned, picked up a pencil, and wrote what he saw.

Virgil’s Plan 

  1. Logan- listen
  2. Patton- brownies
  3. Remus-
  4. Janus-
  5. Roman-



Virgil showed the list to the other two.

“It’s kind of blurry, but this is what I can make out.”

Roman scratched his chin, “It’s still rather vague, but I suppose it’s a start.”

Another _boom_ followed by the sound of something shattering made Logan sigh.

“Well. You’ve already listened to me, and I suppose you can follow Roman to get your normal disposition back, since I really should get back to my room. I’m sorry to put this on you, but do you think you can take it from here, Roman?”

Roman squeaked, “Wha-me?”

Logan nodded, “Like I said, I don’t think we should just wait out the effects of the solution. Besides,” he smiled at Roman, “the solution was based on courage, and who better to help than the embodiment of courage itself?”

Roman rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced, “I’m- I’m not sure I’m all that-”

All three of them yelped as the room shook and something bellowed from Logan’s room. Logan looked pleadingly at Roman who sighed.

“I’ll try my best.”


	3. Patton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get to baking (the wholesome kind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!  
> THANK YOU for reading! It's crazy to see people commenting (both new people and people who have been reading my stories for a while now (!) ) and it makes me sooo happy and grateful :')  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

“I want to try putting a light bulb in my mouth,” Virgil said after Logan left and rolled off the couch. Roman grabbed his hand and the list.

“And why, pray tell, do you want to do that?”

Virgil moved his hand up and down, trying to dislodge himself from Roman’s grasp. When that failed, he simply shrugged.

“Apparently, you can put a lightbulb in your mouth, but for some reason your jaw works in a way that you can’t get it out.”

“So then why would you want to do that to yourself?”

Virgil stopped and looked at Roman, dead serious. Roman braced himself for what seemed to be a long explanation.

“Fight the system,” Virgil said.

Roman snorted and pulled him along, “Yeah, ok. We’re not doing that. Come on, let us go to your next task.”

Virgil glanced at where Roman was holding his hand and lifted it up. Roman gave him a questioning look before Virgil bent and lightly kissed it.

“After you, Princey,” Virgil said with a wink and laughed when a blush rose up Roman’s face in a way that was almost cartoonish.

“Ri-right, let’s,” Roman rubbed his face and faced forwards, muttering something that suspiciously sounded like ‘dammit Logan’ under his breath.

Roman was leading Virgil somewhere and Virgil followed along, still looking around for a lightbulb. He let himself be dragged in front of a door. Roman made no move to knock, though, and after a few minutes, Virgil poked Roman impatiently.

“So, we just gonna stare at the door until something happens?”

Roman looked at Virgil and back at the door. He took a deep breath and knocked.

“Oh well! We tried!” Roman said when no immediate answer came and began to turn back when the door creaked open.

“PATTON!” Virgil cheered and flung himself at the moral side.

“Wha-?” Patton said, nearly toppling over at the sudden hug, “hey there kidd-I mean, Virgil. What’s wrong?”

Virgil frowned. Why did something have to be wrong for him to hug Patton?

“Nothin,” Virgil said, his voice muffled from Patton’s shirt, he lifted his face and beamed, “You just give great hugs!”

Roman sighed and gently peeled Virgil off. Patton looked up at him in surprise.

“R-Roman?”

Roman gave him a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Virgil huffed. If Roman wasn’t going to hug Patton, why’d he have to stop Virgil? Virgil went forwards for another hug, but Roman held him back.

“Hey Patton,” Roman said with a nod.

“Um, hey Roman.”

They both shuffled around and Virgil shifted his weight from leg to leg, quickly getting bored of the silence.

“I’m going to go find a lightbulb,” Virgil said and broke away from Roman’s grip.

“No! Virgil!” Roman yelled, but Virgil raced into Patton’s room and scurried around, finding what he was looking for in a street lamp that was in the corner of Patton’s room.

“Victory!” Virgil cheered, but the bulb skittered out of his hands when Roman grabbed him from the back and held him up like he was a feral cat. Virgil tried to reach for the bulb, but it was too far away now that he was suspended above the ground.

“Boo! No fair!” he pushed at Roman’s arms as Roman made his way back to Patton’s entryway, “Your stupid, strong arms give you an unfair advantage!”

Patton’s lips were parted in surprise and Roman gestured for Patton to come into the hallway and into the kitchen. Once they were all there, and out of the sight of any lightbulbs, Roman sighed.

“Virgil had too much of Logan’s liquid courage,” he explained.

The surprised expression did not leave Patton’s face.

“My child is _drunk_?” he screeched, horrified. But then he blinked and shook his head, “I-I mean, not my child. I guess Virgil is old enough, but I didn’t take Logan for the drinking type and I thought we could only get drunk if Thomas is drunk and-”

“Not,” Roman interrupted, causing Patton to stop his rambling, “Not the idiom, liquid courage. _Actual_ liquid courage.” Roman explained what had happened and how they needed to finish Virgil’s list of tasks to get him back to normal. Roman showed Patton the list and Patton leaned in to look at it.

“So we just need to make some brownies? Well, that’s easy enough, but what about the rest of you?”

Patton flitted from cabinet to cabinet, gathering brownie ingredients as Roman watched.

“Apparently, the more tasks Virgil completes, the more of the list he’s able to see.”

Patton hummed and produced a recipe from one of the kitchen drawers. He used a pink magnet to put it on the fridge and laid out the ingredients on the table: butter, chocolate chips, brown sugar, cocoa powder, flour, vanilla extract, and eggs.

Patton read from the recipe, “First, we need to melt the butter and chocolate together until they’re smooth and combined,” he said.

“Oh! Oh! I want to do it!” Virgil cheered, grabbed a bowl, and promptly dumped a handful of chocolate chips into his mouth.

“Taste testing,” he said in response to Patton’s confusion and Roman’s exasperation. Patton set to work on the dry ingredients while Roman prepped the brownie pan and preheated the oven. Virgil hummed as he worked, but other than that the kitchen was silent.

“I,” Patton started, breaking the silence, “I tried getting a hold of you a few times since…you know,” Patton said and looked at Roman who shrugged.

“I was busy, I guess,” he said and turned to throw away the butter wrappers.

“Oh. Right, of course.”

“I’m done!” Virgil said from the corner and held up his bowl, “Ow, it’s hot,” he set the bowl down and dipped his pinkie finger in to taste the mixture, “Ow. Still hot.”

Patton took the bowl from him, “Wow, good job Virge! This looks great!” Virgil smiled and tried to dip his finger in again, but Patton held the bowl away, “But, uh- let’s let it cool a bit before taste testing.”

Virgil nodded rapidly, “Ok! So now what?”

Patton instructed Virgil to add the sugar and vanilla and let him whisk the mixture. Patton cracked the eggs into the bowl as Virgil mixed.

“Whoa! You’re only using one hand!” Virgil exclaimed and Patton blinked.

“Oh, yeah. It’s actually not too hard.”

Virgil tried to imitate Patton, but he ended up shattering the egg. The shells fell into their brownie mixture and Patton stopped the whisk.

“Shoot. Is it ruined?” Virgil asked and Patton shook his head. He washed his hands, wet his fingers a little, and gingerly picked out the egg shells from the mix.

“If you wet your hands, the egg shells will stick instead of slipping away. Plus, if there are any egg shells left, it just provides an extra crunch to the brownies. Texture!” he finished with a wink.

“Whoooooa, you’re amazing, Patton! You can, like, fix anything!” Virgil said and Patton flinched.

“Not everything,” he said quietly and added the flour/ cocoa powder mix and let Virgil churn it with a spoon. After letting Virgil ‘taste test’ a little, Patton turned to Roman.

“We’re, uh, ready for the pan, Roman.”

Roman looked up and brought the pan over to them. Patton and Virgil’s eyes widened in surprise.

“You added Oreos!” Virgil cheered and Patton blinked at it. Roman noticed and paled.

“Ah, sorry I got bored and I thought,” he scratched his head and grabbed the pan, “sorry, it was stupid, it wasn’t even in the recipe,” he muttered and began to pick out the cookies.

“NO!” Patton yelled suddenly, causing both Virgil and Roman to stare at him in shock. Patton cleared his throat.

“No. Don’t, don’t take them out. I like them, they’ll add an extra note of flavor!” he said, grabbing the tray and pouring the brownie batter over the Oreos. Roman watched him silently for a moment before speaking.

“But they weren’t in the recipe.”

“I know,” Patton said and began knocking the pan on the table to take out the air bubbles, “And I used to think that in order to have the very best brownies, you had to follow the recipe exactly. You had to be rigid or the brownies wouldn’t turn out well.”

Roman watched him knock the pan, each time a little harder than the last.

“What changed your mind?” he asked. Patton sighed. He opened the oven and slid the pan inside.

“I realized that things weren’t so black and white.”

“Are we still talking about the Oreos?” Virgil asked, “Because those are literally black and white.”

The oven hummed quietly in the background as the sun cast a glow over the three of them. Sunlight caught the edges of the counter and each grain of sugar that was spilt on the table glittered like sequins. Virgil poked at Patton’s timer and played with a stray egg shell, cracking it in his hands and letting the pieces shower over the table as if he were throwing confetti. Roman finally broke the silence.

“We’re not talking about the recipe anymore, are we Patton?” Roman asked quietly and Patton shook his head and looked away.

“Roman, I, we should talk. I know things got… messy after the wedding. You, Thomas, everyone was looking to me for answers and I just,” Patton slumped, “didn’t have them.”

Patton looked at his hands, “I thought that my job as Morality was easy. Just adhere to a certain set of rules and you’re golden! Things would be so _easy_ if they were like that, but the reality is they aren’t. And by not seeing that sooner, I…I let everyone down.”

“No, hey Pat that’s not true.”

“Isn’t it though?” Patton asked and when he looked up, his eyes were watery. He swiped at his face, “I’m _Morality_ , my one job is _moral decision making_. What use am I if I can’t even do that? Answer a simple yes or no question? Help Thomas make ethically responsible decisions? I should have listened to you! I should have listened to Janus! But I let my black-and-white thinking cloud my judgement and now,” Patton shrugged and gestured vaguely in front of him, “I don’t know. I messed everything up.”

Patton sighed and slumped down onto the table with his head in his hands.

Roman blinked at him, the soft ‘ticking’ sound of the timer bounced off the walls and surrounded them.

“Patton,” Roman said, but Patton didn’t pick up his head, “Patton. Padre, come on, look at me.”

At the nickname, Patton lifted his head, but he didn’t meet Roman’s eyes.

“I did expect you to have all the answers, Patton,” Roman started and sat across from him, “it’s why I followed your lead at the courtroom. So when you changed your mind, I was…angry.”

Patton winced and started to put his head back down.

“But,” Roman said, “It was wrong of me to expect that you had all the answers.”

Patton swiveled his head and met Roman’s eyes.

“I thought that if I just followed you, then I wouldn’t have to worry about my own decisions being wrong. I didn’t want to go against you because Thomas always seemed to side with you, his moral side. Maybe it was wrong of you to believe that Thomas’s world is black and white, but it’s just as much my own fault for not saying anything about it.”

Roman smiled

“Patton, Thomas doesn’t have to be perfect, which means you don’t have to be perfect either.”

“Yeah! Like you said, imperfections just add texture!” Virgil cheered and the timer beeped, “Oh! The brownies are done! I’ll get them!”

Patton sniffed, smiled, and nodded, “Thanks kidd-oh! Virgil! Gloves, you need oven mitts!” he yelled and pulled Virgil back before he stuck his unprotected hands into the oven.

“Whoops,” Virgil said and knocked his head, “forgot about that, but look! The brownies are done! Guess I can check that off my list,” Virgil unfolded his list and began to scratch the word ‘brownies’ out when he stopped.

“Roman! Ro! Roro! The Ro-MAN!” Virgil said excitedly and bounced up and down.

“What is it?” Roman asked and Virgil waved his list in Roman’s face.

“I can see another word on the list!” Virgil exclaimed and grabbed a pencil from his pockets. He scribbled the word.

Virgil’s Plan 

  1. Logan- listen
  2. Patton- brownies
  3. Remus- practical
  4. Janus-
  5. Roman-



Roman inspected the list while Patton took out the brownies and cut them into squares. Roman rubbed his chin.

“The words practical and my brother don’t exactly mesh, but I suppose we know where we have to go next,” Roman said and raised an eyebrow at Patton, “would you like to come with?”

Patton smiled at Roman, but shook his head, “Usually, I would, but the brownies took a little longer than I thought and I really have to start on making dinner. Maybe a crockpot recipe!” he shifted his weight from leg to leg and looked up, “Invite everyone back for dinner though? We haven’t had one of our family dinners in so long.”

Roman nodded, then turned to Virgil.

“Alright, let’s go pay my brother a visit.”


	4. Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes: swearing, mild descriptions of blood/ disturbing imagery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Thanks so much for reading! LOVE all the predictions in the comments (though some are a little too spot on lmaooo) and, of course, love your kudos and support <3  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter! :D

Virgil munched on the brownies, making several rather…explicit noises as he ate them.

“Holy fuck, these are so fucking good,” Virgil said, stuffing his face with another one.

“Eat them, don’t make love to them,” Roman muttered and rubbed his head, “Ugh, we haven’t even seen Remus yet and our conversation already is starting to take on his tone.”

They stopped in front of Remus’s door which sported a dark, mahogany wood with a barred window near the top. Roman braced himself and knocked. The door opened almost immediately and Remus burst out of it like a wild boar.

“ROMAN!” he yelled and pulled his brother into a bear hug. Roman could feel his ribs bending under the pressure.

“Rem-Remus, can’t breathe. Put me down, _Remus_ ,” Roman pleaded and Remus complied, only after Roman’s bones nearly splintered. Roman took a deep breath in.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Remus asked.

“Not exactly a pleasure,” Roman muttered and Remus scoffed.

“ _Not_ a pleasure? Why, Roman! I know we left things on rocky terms the last time you visited me, but come now!”

Roman blinked at him.

“You tried to drown me,” Roman deadpanned, and Remus waved his hand.

“Ah. Yes, well. You know our games can get quite rough. Water under the bridge. Oop! Literally! Because there was water and-” he said excitedly, but took in Roman’s expression and cleared his throat, “well anyways. How can I help, little brother?”

“Little?” Virgil piped up from behind Roman, and Remus startled, only just seeing the anxious side, “aren’t you two twins?”

Remus tilted his head and walked towards Virgil, frowning when Virgil didn’t flinch back.

“Yes, well. Poopy jokes were all the rage when Thomas was little, so I do have a few minutes over my brother. I will say it is quite rare of _you_ to visit me, though, Virgil.”

Virgil shrugged, “Do you have any lightbulbs?” he asked and Remus nodded as if the question was perfectly reasonable.

“Why yes. I just got a new supply of them today. I like to snack on them,” he said sinisterly and summoned a lightbulb. He then placed it in his mouth, feigned horror when he couldn’t get it out, and then bit down, laughing as the blood and glass shards sprayed over them.

“How come he gets to do it, but I can’t!” Virgil whined and tugged on Roman’s sleeve. Remus squinted and poked Virgil on the forehead. He looked at Roman.

“Alright. I’ll bite. What’s wrong with him?”

Roman sighed, “He drank too much liquid courage.”

“Well, if you two want to get drunk, you came to the right place!”

“No, not, alcohol. Actual Liquid Courage.” Roman sighed. This was going to be an ongoing theme, wasn’t it? Roman explained what had happened for the second time and showed Remus the list.

“Practical, huh?” Remus questioned when he saw the word next to his name and Roman shrugged.

“That’s what I said, there’s no way that could pertain to-”

“Why! That obviously means we must pull a practical joke!”

“Like a prank?” Virgil asked, his eyes shining and Remus nodded.

“That’s right! And it just so happens that I’m currently,” he sighed and looked up, a gruff and serious expression spread on his face, “at war,” he finished despondently. Virgil gasped while Roman sighed.

“You. You mean a prank war, right?” he said and Remus nodded happily, the fake-grim look disappearing from his face.

“That’s right! With the nerd! He replaced all my pickled poo log deodorants with citrus the other day! Citrus!”

That caught Roman’s attention and he pressed his lips together, “With Logan? I didn’t know you two were on good terms since he…you know.”

“Pretty much told Thomas how to banish me to the depths of his mind?” Remus finished easily and Roman cringed and nodded.

“Well,” Remus said flippantly and walked out of his room and into the hallway, “he actually came to apologize after that video. Said that intrusive thoughts are only a part of my function and Logan simply gave Thomas the tools to deal with them. He also said something about knowing what it’s like to be ignored blah blah blah yucky heart to heart stuff blah blah and bing bang boomerang,” Remus said and turned with a sudden clap, “best of friends! Now let’s ruin his life with a killer prank!”

“Right,” Roman said as he and Virgil followed Remus. He brought them to the common room and motioned for them to crouch behind one of the couches.

“Now,” Remus whispered, “the nerd is a bit hard to prank. The normal stuff doesn’t quite do anything to him. Human hearts, worm ridden cheese, dead, skinned cats with burst livers, he doesn’t even bat an eye at most of them!”

“That’s the normal stuff?” Roman asked.

“So what do we do?” Virgil asked urgently and Remus patted him on the head.

“Worry not my spidery pupil. Logan usually comes in for his daily tea right about now, so just watch and learn.”

True to Remus’s words, Logan appeared in the kitchen and filled his electric tea kettle with water. He frowned.

“That’s strange,” Logan muttered and waved around the plug.

“What happened?” Virgil whispered and Remus leaned over to him.

“The plug is tampered with,”

“Yeah?” Virgil asked, getting excited.

“it’s a plug type C”

“Yeah? Yeah??”

“which is used in Europe whereas American plugs are type A or B!” he finished, trying to hold in giggles and Roman and Virgil stared at him.

“Oh,” Virgil said.

“That,” Roman started, “and I promise I’m not trying to be mean here, is an awful prank.”

“Just wait for it nonbelievers,” Remus said with a quirked eyebrow and the trio looked back over the couch.

Logan squinted and rubbed his head. He went to the fridge to get some milk and stopped. He blinked hard at the carton, took off his glasses, and looked closer at it.

“The expiration date is written in the European date format,” Remus explained.

Logan shook his head and went to the cabinet to grab some sugar, he nearly dropped the box.

“European style and in grams, not pounds,” Remus explained.

Logan shook his head a few more times and grabbed his car keys, seemingly planning to make a trip to the convenience store in the imagination. He fished around for spare change and stared at the coins, aghast.

“Now those are pounds,” Remus said with a grin and watched Logan slam the foreign currency on the table and run a hand through his hair.

Remus clapped Virgil on the shoulder, “And for the final phase of my plan,” Remus whispered into Virgil’s ear and Virgil grinned, nodded, and stood up.

“Hey, Logan,” Virgil said and entered the kitchen, “You all finished with that experiment?”

Logan jumped back and looked at Virgil, “Ah. Um. Almost, have you resolved the issue with the liquid courage?”

Virgil shook his head and leaped onto the countertop, as if to demonstrate. He eyed Logan’s keys.

“Going out?”

Logan nodded, “Yes. Yes, just to get some tea from the convenience store.”

Virgil tilted his head, “The store? That’s a few kilometers away, you sure you can’t work with anything here? Patton’s planning on having dinner soon too.”

Logan sighed, “No, I-”

Logan stopped.

“What did you say?”

Virgil shrugged, “Patton’s having dinner soon,” he started to walk out, “Well, if you are going, just make sure to watch your right turns.”

“You mean my left turns?” Logan asked, his voice going shrill.

Virgil turned back one final time, “Why would you need to watch your left turns? The steering wheel is on the right.”

And that was the final nail in the coffin. Logan’s jaw dropped and he burst up into the real common room, probably startling Thomas.

“WHEN DID WE MOVE TO EUROPE?!” he wailed and all three of them could hear Logan's frantic yelling and Thomas's confused responses distantly from the mindscape.

Virgil, Roman, and Remus looked at each other, completely silent for a moment.

Before falling to the floor and bursting into laughter.

“Oh, oh my gosh,” Roman said between giggles.

“You actually had him convinced that we moved to Europe!” Virgil exclaimed and Remus guffawed with them.

“It’s hard to get the nerd, but when you do,” Remus held his stomach as he laughed, “Oh. It hurts! It hurts so good!”

Roman wiped the tears from his eyes, “That was amazing,” he said and propped himself up “the tension, the buildup, pure masterpiece,” he finished and gave a chef’s kiss.

Remus bumped shoulders with him, “Not so bad for the evil twin, eh?”

Roman paused and looked down. He bumped Remus back gently.

“You were never evil, Remus,” he said quietly and looked at him.

Remus gaped before rolling his eyes, “Don’t get sappy on me now, bro,” he said and dramatically put a hand to his forehead, but he eyed Roman for a moment before saying, “did what our resident snake say get to you?”

Roman sighed, “Yeah,” he said, “But it shouldn’t have. You’re not evil. Sure, Thomas may not like some of your functions, but you’re still a part of him. The part that his friends and their dark humor relate to. The part that makes him think of interesting content or helps him perform if he has a morbid role.”

Remus stared at him before punching Roman in the shoulder.

“Ow! What was that-” Roman started but stopped when Remus ruffled Roman’s hair.

“Thanks, little bro,” he said with a smile and Roman smiled back and shoved him off.

“Can we prank someone else?” Virgil asked, “Oh! Do me next!”

“Well if you insist,” Remus said suggestively and Roman pretended to gag. Virgil stuck a tongue out at Remus, unbothered, and Remus laughed.

“Are you sure we can’t keep him like this?” Remus asked and Roman groaned. He got up and pulled Virgil to his feet.

“Well? We finished the prank, can you read the next thing on the list?” Roman asked.

Virgil pouted before getting up and looking at his list. He grabbed a pencil, scribbled something on the paper, and showed it to Roman.

Virgil’s Plan 

  1. Logan- listen
  2. Patton- brownies
  3. Remus- practical
  4. Janus- truth
  5. Roman-



Roman sighed.

“Into the snake pit, I suppose.”


	5. Janus Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is getting worse and Janus is caught off guard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllloooo~  
> This chapter is a two-parter because it just ended up being a little (read: way too) long. Thanks so much for reading/commenting/ kudoing (I've decided that that's a verb)! Hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> And, if you're so inclined, check out the end notes for a surprise (read: my lack of self-control) ;)

After telling Remus about dinner, Roman and Virgil headed to Janus’s room.

“And you’re sure you can’t see what it says near my name?” Roman asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time and Virgil shook his head as they neared the front of Janus’s door.

“I’m starting to feel like a girl scout,” Roman mumbled as he raised his hand to knock, lowered it, raised it again, and sighed. Virgil rolled his eyes.

“Here, it goes like this,” Virgil said and pushed Roman aside. He raised both his hands and rapidly began pounding on the door until it was flung open.

“WHAT THE-” Janus screamed from the inside and his eyes fell on the side in front of him, “Oh, it’s you,” he said to Virgil and Virgil curtsied.

“Hello to you too your royal unpleasantness,” Virgil replied and Janus leaned against the doorway and put a hand to his chest in mock offense.

“Come now Virgil, is that any way to greet a friend?”

“It’s not, but we’re not friends.”

“My,” Janus said and raised an eyebrow, “Forward today, aren’t we? Fine, is that anyway to greet a fellow human?”

“Honestly, I’m kind of iffy on whether ‘human’ applies to you,” Virgil sneered back.

“Or any of us, really,” Roman muttered from behind him and Janus looked up in surprise, squinting suspiciously at the Prince.

“Roman?” he asked, seemingly only just noticing Roman’s presence. Roman shifted uncomfortably and the silence persisted until Virgil jumped up, swiped Janus’s hat, put it on his own head.

“Virgil!” Janus yelled, scandalized, but Virgil ducked out of Janus’s way.

“I’m fulfilling my dream of being a 1950s showtune star! All I need is a cane!” he said and did a twirl, leaving Janus so stunned that he didn’t even move when Virgil waltzed past him, grabbed his cane from his bedside, and began doing dance kicks. Janus looked from Virgil to Roman to Virgil and back to Roman.

“What, and I do not say this lightly, the fuck.”

Roman sighed, dragged Virgil off of Janus’s bed and snatched back the hat and the cane. He offered the items back to Janus who took them with a suspicious glance.

“Virgil had too much liquid courage,” Roman started and before Janus could say anything, Roman put a hand up, “ _Not_ alcohol. Actual liquid courage that Logan was experimenting on. Apparently drinking too much makes you like,” Roman trailed off and simply gestured at Virgil who was still doing dance kicks, despite not having a cane, “that. And it looks like it’s getting worse,” Roman muttered.

“Show him the list, Virge,” Roman said and Virgil crossed his arms.

“Why? I don’t like him.”  
For a moment, it seemed as if Roman would accept that, but he sighed and said, “Because he’s on your list which means you have to do something with him.”

Virgil groaned, a long and dramatic sound, and showed the list to Janus. Janus leaned over to look at it.

“Oh, yes. This list makes complete sense, I know exactly what to do,” Janus said with an eye roll pointed at Roman.

Roman was about to clarify when Virgil grabbed Janus’s face with one hand and looked him in the eyes.

“Don’t be mean to Roman you fuckin' noodle,” he said angrily. Janus blinked for a moment before narrowing his eyes.

“He started it,” Janus muttered and pulled his face out of Virgil’s grip, “So? What does this have to do with me?”

Roman took a deep breath and explained that they were going through the list in order to complete the task that Virgil had set out to do when he drank the liquid courage. Only, they didn’t know exactly what that task was because Virgil wrote it in special ink, but it seemed to be working so hey, why complain?

“So?” Roman said when he finished explaining what they had done with Patton and Remus, “does the word ‘truth’ ring a bell?”

Janus frowned, “Uh, no. Not really.”

“Figures,” Roman said under his breath, and Janus glared at him for a moment before the expression melted into his signature smirk.

“I’m not sure what Virgil’s list is referring to, but,” he sat down on his floor and gestured for them to sit down, “one of my absolute _favorite_ games is the classic ‘truth or dare’.”

Roman rolled his eyes and headed for the exit, but Virgil jumped up and down and finally sat on the floor.

“Oh! Me first! Me first!”

Janus leaned his face into his hand, “Ok, Virgil. Truth or Da-”

“Dare!” Virgil cheered and Janus closed his eyes.

“That’s fine, just interrupt me it’s not annoying in the slightest.”

Roman frowned and tried to pull Virgil to his feet.

“Come on, Virgil. Nothing good can come out of this, let’s just go,” Roman muttered, but Virgil stayed sitting.

“Awwwww, but I didn’t even get my dare yet!” he said and hunched his shoulders.

“Yeah, Roman,” Janus said with a smile, “he didn’t even get his dare yet!” Roman glared harder and Janus put his hands up, “Don’t worry, it’s not like I can force you to do anything. You don’t like the dare, you can leave.”

Roman bit his lip and darted his eyes from the exit to the floor where Virgil and Janus were sitting. Finally, he sighed and sat down cross-legged on the floor so that the three of them were sitting in a triangle.

“Alright, Virgil. Your dare is to, uh,” he waved his hand, “do a cartwheel.”

“Hell yeah!” Virgil cheered, got up, did something that maybe could have resembled a cartwheel if the room had had enough space for him, and sat back down with a grin.

“So you really weren’t lying, Virgil normally hates doing acrobatics of any kind. Or just moving in general,” Janus muttered into his glove and looked up, “Wonderfully done, Virgil,” Janus said and Virgil pretended to flip his hair.

“I know.”

“Ok, great, you did a dare. Can you read the rest of the list yet?” Roman said and bounced his leg. Virgil looked at his note.

“Nope! Oh, ok, my turn! Snake face, truth or dare?”

Janus’s eye twitched a little at the nickname, but he smiled, “The truth,” he gave Roman a sideways glance, “always.”

“Ugh, booooring,” Virgil said and flopped onto his back, “Uhhhh, oh!” he sat up, “When was the last time you cried?”

“I never cry,” Janus said easily and this time it was Roman who rolled his eyes.

“Gloves off, it’s not truth or dare unless you actually tell the truth.”

“I doubt that matte-”

“Do you want him to get stuck like this?” Roman asked and angrily waved a hand at Virgil who was quietly singing ‘the Krusty Krab Pizza’ song and emphasizing the word ‘pizza’ with jazz hands.

Janus eyed him for a moment, seriously considering, and sighed.

“Fine,” he said and began to take his gloves off, “The last time I cried,” he started, and his voice got a little quieter. He mumbled something and Roman leaned in.

“What?” Roman asked and Janus groaned and mumbled again.

“I can’t hear yo-”

“Patton showed me a video of a kitten jumping when it saw a cucumber!” Janus yelled and pulled his hat over his eyes. Virgil and Roman blinked at him.

“That?”

“You cried at a kitten video?” Roman asked and Janus used two hands to hold his cap in place and another two to hide the blush that flared across his face.

“It was, so small. And when it jumped it fell over and mewed and it was oh, so adorable,” Janus said, his voice monotone but his blush growing.

The room was silent for a moment, and it was broken by Roman bursting into laughter. Virgil perked up, it was nothing like the quiet, shy laughter that Roman seemed to default to these days. This was _Roman_ laughter. The laughter that used to fill the halls with its mirth and its volume. The laughter that Virgil hadn’t heard in so long, but he’d heard twice today, the first time being when they had pranked Logan earlier. Virgil joined in as well and Janus groaned.

“It’s just,” Roman wheezed out and wiped at his eye, “kitten videos? It seems so contradictory to your whole,” Roman waved in Janus’s direction, “thing, I just,” he dissolved into giggles again. Virgil watched Janus’s face flick through different levels of annoyance.

“What’s wrong with kitten videos?” Janus said with a pout and Roman straightened, the giggles ebbing.

“Nothing! Nothing, cute animal videos are great. It just, it caught me off guard I guess.”

Janus’s eyes grew wide at that, his annoyed expression turning into something difficult to decipher.

“Well,” he started, “if we’re done laughing, then I believe it’s my turn,” he looked at Roman, “Roman, truth or dare?”

Roman looked at Virgil who waved his list and shrugged. Roman sighed.

“Truth.”

Janus’s eyebrows flew up in what seemed to be genuine shock, “That’s surprising. Aren’t heroes supposed to be daring?” he asked and as soon as the words left his mouth, it was as if a vacuum had sucked out the good mood that had settled around them. The temperature in the room seemed to drop ten degrees, even Virgil felt a shiver crawl down his back. Roman’s eyes narrowed and Janus titled his head before his eyes widened.

“Oh, wait. I didn’t mean it like tha-”

“Just ask your question,” Roman interrupted and looked down. Janus opened his mouth, closed it, and picked at some lint on his knee. He took a deep breath in.

“Do you really think I’m evil?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. You guys. I couldn't help myself. Prinxiety fans if you feel like I robbed you in this fic because confident Virgil and blushing Roman are just 👌🏽, check out 'Blush Meter' ! I had to write this oneshot, flirty Virgil was just too powerful 😔😔
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/24664000


	6. Janus Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game continues-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, whoa, look what I found, it's love and appreciation for all of YOU!  
> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoy the chapter ;)

“Do you really think I’m evil?”

Roman straightened and looked at Janus who avoided his gaze. The metronomic clunking of Janus’s grandfather clock filled the room and Roman picked at the carpet.

“That’s your question?” Roman asked, almost incredulously. Janus, however, didn’t waver. Roman scratched at his neck.

“Why do you even care what I think?” Roman asked.

“It’s a simple yes or no, Roman,” Janus said, urging him to answer.

“I mean,” Roman said, picking out a rather large string and attempting to tie it in a knot, “isn’t that what you want?”

Janus didn’t answer, he only tilted his head and Roman put his string down.

“Like, look at you! You dress the part of the villain, you cackle, you weave your hands together like the antagonist in a James Bond movie, it’s like you want us to think you’re evil!”

“That wasn’t the question, Roman,” Janus said quietly and Roman shook his head.

“It just- it doesn’t make sense. You play the part of the villain, but now you’re suddenly not? Now you’re really just the banished prince of lies, the poor, shunned prodigal son?” Roman’s hands were balled into fists and Janus leaned over.

“You’re wrong,” he said quietly and Roman looked up.

“I didn’t. Want you to think I was evil, that is. It’s just the way that Thomas sees the concept of ‘deceit’.”

Roman stared, seemingly taking that in before putting his head in his hands, “If you’re not evil then what,” he looked up briefly, “what was I fighting in the courtroom? Did I sentence Thomas to the wedding because I thought it was the right thing to do? Or did I do it because I thought it would defeat _you_?”

Janus sighed and stretched out his legs, “I can’t answer that, Roman. What I can say is that we were both fighting for the same thing in that courtroom and that thing is Thomas’s happiness.”

Roman looked up, looking like he wanted to argue. To say that they couldn’t have been fighting for the same thing because that would mean-

“If you’re not evil. Then I was selfless for the wrong reasons.” Roman said, drawing in a shaky breath, “because apparently there’s a _wrong_ way to be selfless now!”

“Yeah, I couldn’t follow, like, 80% of the conversation you guys had with Patton,” Virgil said and Janus sighed again.

“The question of whether to be selfish or selfless, followed by how to do right by either choice, is grey and murky territory. It can be confusing and difficult, you shouldn’t feel badly for not immediately grasping a concept that philosophers have wrestled with for millennia,” Janus said. Roman looked up, his shoulders slumped slightly.

Janus nudged him, “You still haven’t answered the question though, Roman,” Janus said, but his tone had become something else. Something gentler. “You coined the sides that Thomas doesn’t want to face as the dark sides. Doesn’t that mean you think Remus and I are evil?”

“No!” Roman yelled and Janus backed away, “I mean, I don’t know. My brother isn’t evil,” he said and gave a pointed look at Janus who raised an eyebrow.

“He’s not! He’s just…eccentric,” Roman finished and Janus let out a short chuckle.

“ _I_ know he’s not evil, Roman.”

“But you-”

“I know,” Janus said and grimaced. He leaned back on his hands, “I know what I said. I called him the evil twin, but I only said that because…well because I knew it would upset you.”

“Really not helping your case here, snake man,” Virgil piped in and Janus waved a hand at him.

“I know. I’m,” Janus gulped and took his glove off, “I’m sorry, Roman. It’s just that, it had taken so _long_ for Thomas to accept me and when-”

“I insulted your name, your mind went to the most horrific insult it could muster?” Roman finished and Janus looked up, guilt still swimming in his eyes. Roman held a stern face for a moment before sighing.

“Well. Remus _is_ a rather horrendous insult, I mean have you smelt him recently?” Roman put a hand to his chin, “Actually, he’d probably consider that a compliment.”

Janus’s face only looked more confused and Roman laughed before his face turned more serious, but held its softness.

“I- I suppose what I’m trying to say is…I’m sorry too, Janus. I was confused and angry, and when you’re confused and angry,” Roman ran a hand through his hair, “you look for the first person to shove your anger on. You were an easy target.”

“I’ll try not to make a habit of it,” Janus muttered and nudged Roman’s arm again.

“So? The question?” he pressed.

“Yeah Roman! Answer the question!” Virgil jeered and poked at him. Roman endured the poking for nearly a minute before shoving Virgil away.

“You’re…not all good,” Roman started and looked at Janus, “And I don’t think I am either. Not anymore anyways. I’m certainly not the hero I thought I was,” he looked down.

“Roman-”

“But,” Roman continued, cutting Janus off, “you’re not evil either. Like my brother, you never were.”

Virgil expected Janus to take Roman’s answer in his normal, haughty manner. With a flip of his hand and his theatrical laugh. Instead, he stared for a moment before beaming widely, his smile so bright that both Virgil (even in his current state) and Roman were left stuttering. Roman cleared his throat.

“Ah, well, ok my-my turn I guess,” he said, “Um, Virgil. Truth or Da-”

“Dare!” Virgil yelled and Roman rubbed his head.

“Yeah, should have seen that coming. Um,” he squinted, “I dare you to do your best impression of Janus.”

Virgil nodded excitedly and held out his hands in front of Janus. Janus lifted an eyebrow.

“What?”

Virgil frowned, pointed to Janus’s hat, and held his hands out again.

“Oh. Is that really necessary?”

Virgil nodded incessantly and Janus sighed, ignoring Roman’s snort when he handed Virgil his hat. Virgil put it on and cleared his throat.

“’Ello everyone, I’m the snake man. Pip pip, make sure you’ve gotten that self care in or your jolly good time may be trampled upon,” Virgil put a hand to his face, “ohohohohoo” he laughed.

“I don’t sound like that!” Janus protested.

“Why did you make him British?”

“And with such a terrible accent too.”

Virgil shrugged and tossed Janus’s bowler hat. It landed perfectly on Janus’s head.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Virgil said and pointed at Janus.

“Truth or dare?”

“Tr-actually,” Janus glanced at Roman, “dare.”

Virgil grinned and tapped his fingers together maniacally.

“I dare you…to shapeshift into a kitten and show us how it reacted to the cucumber in the video!”

Roman pressed his lips together, trying to contain a smile, and looked at Janus. Janus looked horrified.

“Is it too late to change my answer?” he asked.

“Yes,” replied Virgil and Roman at the same time. Janus let out a huff. He hunched his shoulders a bit and squeezed his eyes shut. Suddenly, there was a small _pop!_ and Janus had disappeared. Only his bowler hat remained. Virgil frowned.

“Where did-”

The bowler hat started moving and Roman picked it up and squealed.

A small, black kitten with orange spots around its left eye mewed at them. It pawed at its ear, the soft kitten fur sticking out in a few places, and sat down. It then looked behind itself, yowled and jumped up, but its head was too big for its body. The jump caused it to topple over and it rolled onto its belly, it’s little tail and paws covering its underside.

Then, Virgil and Roman blinked and Janus was back. He dusted kitten fur off his caplet and put his bowler cap back on.

“Why am I getting all the embarrassing ones?” he muttered and shifted when neither Virgil nor Roman said anything, “What?”

“That-” Virgil started.

“That was literally too cute to process,” Roman finished and Virgil nodded, tears in his eyes. Janus blushed.

“Well- well too bad because I’m not doing it again so,” he looked away uncomfortably, “stop looking at me like that!”

Virgil and Roman did not stop looking at him ‘like that’ and Janus groaned, “Alright, alright, my turn. Roman, dare or dare?”

Roman frowned, “It’s truth or dare?” he said and Janus shook his head.

“Nope, you’re the only one who hasn’t done a dare. Dare or dare?”

Roman only raised an eyebrow at him and Janus clapped his hands.

“I’ll take that as dare!” he put a finger to his chin, “name a time where you felt heroic, anytime. It could be recently or years ago.”

“That’s not a dare,” Virgil said with a frown and Janus nodded.

“I know. But I need the information to formulate the dare,” he said and looked at Roman expectantly.

“Heroic?” Roman asked and looked down, “I-I don’t know,” he finished with a mutter and Virgil straightened.

“What! You’re super heroic! Remember that time with the cliff?”

Years ago, when Thomas was in middle school, he and his friends were fooling around in an empty lot where a new house was being built. The lot had giant dirt mountains that they would ride their bikes down and was on top of a hill with rocky cliffs and edges. One day, Thomas’s friend suggested they see who could jump off the tallest cliff without chickening out. Usually, Thomas wouldn’t dare do something so dangerous, but fueled by his friends watching, he managed to win the game, jumping off a cliff that, in hindsight, was actually rather small (around 8 feet in total height), but to Thomas and his friends, it was monumental.

Thomas was hailed as the hero of the day and Roman was ecstatic. They replayed the memory together, each time exaggerating the height of the cliff.

“That was a long time ago,” Roman muttered and Janus shook his head.

“But it made you feel heroic?”

“I guess?” Roman said with a shrug and Janus smiled.

“Well, then, I dare you to jump off the cliff!”

Roman stared at him for a beat before shaking his head and getting up.

“What? No! Absolutely not!”

“But why not?” Virgil whined and Roman shoved him off.

“Because 1). The cliff is in the imagination, 2). It must be at least three stories by now!”

“You’ve jumped off of it before, haven’t you?” Janus asked and Roman groaned.

“Well yes, but-”

“And you’ve landed safely every time?”

“I mean, sure, but-”

“Then why not?”

“Because I’m not jumping off a cliff just because you dared me to!” Roman exclaimed and Virgil tugged on his sleeve, “What?”

Virgil shuffled, “Actually, Princey, there’s another reason for you to,” he said and showed Roman his list. Roman squinted his eyes and read it.

Virgil’s Plan 

  1. Logan- listen
  2. Patton- brownies
  3. Remus- practical
  4. Janus- truth



“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me,” Roman said as he read the last line.

  1. Roman- jump



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllloooo there reader :)  
> The wonderful, stunning, fantastic @anartisticexpression has illustrated a few scenes from this fic, including the ones from this chapter! They're sooo cute and you can check them out here!!   
> https://anartisticexpression.tumblr.com/post/633793069674823680/have-a-couple-of-extra-doodles-from


	7. Roman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the cliffs!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you >:(  
> Yeah you >:(((
> 
> Thanks for reading :) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter! ;)

“Patton’s task was to bake brownies. Remus’s was to play a prank. Janus’s was to play truth or dare. And mine is to jump off a _freaking cliff_ ,” Roman groaned.

After leaving Janus’s room, Roman and Virgil went into the imagination to seek out the cliff from Thomas’s childhood. After searching for a while, Roman determined that the cliff must be somewhere in Thomas’s childhood memories, past the Jungle Gym Jungle. The trees bent in odd shapes, crossing and forming domes in different intervals so that the pair would have to jump, swing, and climb their way through. Roman regarded the vine-covered dome.

“Do you think you’ll be able to make it through, or will I have to carry you?” Roman asked and Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Are you suggesting I’m weak, Princey?”

“I’m suggesting that pull-ups may not be your strong suit.”

Virgil shrugged, “Maybe not usually, but,” he grinned, took off his sweatshirt, and tied it around his waist, “while you carrying me definitely sounds like a good time, I think I’ll be ok.”

Roman’s jaw dropped.

“V-Virgil, you’re _ripped_.”

Virgil laughed and flexed his arms, “I know, I may not be stronger than you, but these,” he flexed again, “come with the fight-or-flight territory.”

“Is that why you wear a sweatshirt all the time?” Roman asked, poking his arm experimentally and then poking Virgil’s. Virgil laughed.

“No, I wear a sweatshirt because it makes me comfortable, though it’s almost a sin not to be able to show off these guns,” Virgil said with a wink and, despite the faint blush dusting his cheeks, Roman rolled his eyes.

“Alright, ok, let’s just get through here.”

Roman grabbed a trunk and swung himself up easily. Virgil followed, did a flip, and landed on the branch on top of Princey. He didn’t say anything, but his expression was clear.

_Try to keep up._

“Virgil don’t you dare-”

But Virgil was already gone, he pounced and grabbed the next branch, laughing freely as he flew through the air and landed on a tree ledge. Roman jumped after him. Virgil flew forwards again, and nearly fell back when a curtain of vines appeared in front of him. Roman yanked him back and cut through the vines.

“Can you not?” Roman huffed and Virgil stuck his tongue out at him and stood.

“Why are you even complaining so much, I thought you _loved_ things like this,” Virgil said. He picked up one of the chopped vines, chewed on it, and spit it out in disgust. He picked up another one to try again.

“The days were daring adventure have merit are long gone, Virgil,” Roman muttered and yanked the vine away from Virgil’s mouth.

“Bullshit,” Virgil said and put his arms up, grabbed a tree trunk that was suspended horizontally above him, and hoisted himself up, he walked across like it was a balance beam, did a spin, and jumped forwards.

“Virgil!” Roman yelled.

“C’mon Princey, race ya!” Virgil sang back.

Virgil let his adrenaline carry him forwards. The end of the horizontal tree was coming and the next tree branch was at least 4 feet away from the gap. Virgil widened his stride, pumped his legs, and leapt. One hand caught the next branch and Virgil swung forwards.

“Woohoooo!” Virgil screamed and landed. He looked behind his to where Roman was right on his heels. Instead of leaping like Virgil did, Roman untied his sash, flung it at the next branch, and used it to swing in front of Virgil. Roman turned back.

“Try and keep up,” Roman said and Virgil grinned.

“Oh it is _on_.”

The Jungle gym Jungle widened and curved, trees criss-crossing in every which direction and actively ignoring the laws of gravity. One tree spun around itself and Virgil grabbed a vine and let himself be carried on its surface like he was riding a swirly slide. It ended in a ramp that gave Virgil enough air to get in front of Roman.

Roman frowned, used his right leg to kick of a tree that was directly to his left and flung his sash forwards. It caught on a tree branch in front of Virgil and Roman flew down it like a zip line.

“Two can play at that game!” Virgil jeered and untied his sweatshirt from around his waist and mirrored Roman’s movements, but before the branch ended, his leg caught on a passing trunk and Virgil lost his grip on the sweatshirt.

“AHH-” Virgil started to scream, but felt his hand hit something solid at the second before he dropped. Virgil looked up and smiled.

“You came back for me,” Virgil said, his eyes wide, and let Roman help him up.

Roman shrugged. “It’s what anyone would have done. C’mon, we’re almost out of this jungle.”

Virgil jumped over the last tree trunk and landed in the clearing on the other side of the jungle. Roman landed softly to his side a moment later.

“We’ll call it a draw since you saved me,” Virgil said and Roman scratched the back of his neck.

“I-I wouldn’t say saved. You would have figured it out.”

Virgil opened his mouth to reply, but his eye caught the sight of the cliffs.

“Holy- this is not an eight-foot cliff!” Virgil exclaimed. He ran to the edge of it and looked down. The wind whistled in his hair and he could make out small tree tops dotting the terrain below them. Roman groaned.

“I _told_ you, the cliff grew in height the more Thomas retold the story and replayed it in his imagination.”

“Have you ever jumped off the cliff at this height?” Virgil asked and Roman looked away.

“I mean- yes,” he frowned, “though I feel like there’s something I’m forgetting,” he peered off the edge, “how the heck did I not die?”

Virgil shrugged and put a foot off the edge, “Well, let’s find out!” he said and was about to step off when Roman pulled him back. Virgil frowned.

“We are not jumping off the edge of a cliff!” Roman screeched and pulled Virgil away from the edge.

“But the list-”

“Is super vague and could have meant anything!”

“But Janus said-”

“Janus isn’t here! And I’m sure if he saw this cliff, he would retract his dare because he’s not actively trying to KILL ME.”

Virgil pouted and crossed his arms, “C’mon, Roman. You were acting like yourself for the first time in a while when we were in the Jungle gym Jungle.”

Roman stiffened.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Virgil waved a hand at him, “You know what it means Princey,” he marched up to Roman and jabbed a finger in his chest, “you’re daring, you’re brave, you’re the hero side, what’s preventing you from a little cliff diving?”

Roman shoved Virgil’s finger away.

“Those- those things aren’t true anymore, Virgil,” he muttered and Virgil groaned loudly.

“And why the fuck not?”

“Because!” Roman started with a shout. Virgil raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to continue and Roman raked a hand through his hair, “because. Because I’m not a hero, ok? I’m not brave or daring, I’m just,” he lifted his hands, “I’m just a selfish dumbass who calls other people evil despite letting people down and not having any answers for anyone and I’m annoying and-ugh whatever. You get it.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes, “But Janus said it’s ok to be selfish.”

Roman rolled his eyes and sat down on the grass, “It’s not the same.”

Virgil sat down in front of him and leaned forwards, “And you told Remus and Janus that they weren’t evil.”

Roman looked up, “it doesn’t erase that I did it in the first place.”

“You told Patton that it was ok not to have the answers!”

“It’s different for m-”

“You told Logan that no matter how annoying we may get, we’re _friends_.”

“Bu-

”You said you’d never want to change him!”

“WELL MAYBE I SHOULD CHANGE, MAYBE,” Roman squeezed his eyes shut, “maybe then Thomas would have the hero he deserves.”

Virgil stared at Roman for a moment longer before getting up.

“You’re already a hero Roman,” he walked towards the cliff, “I’ll prove it.”

Roman still had his eyes squeezed shut and scoffed, “and how, exactly, can you do that?”

“By doing this,” Virgil said. Roman opened his eyes and paled as Virgil stepped to the edge of the cliff. Virgil turned back and grinned.

“Come save me, Princey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So. 
> 
> I won't be in town tomorrow so the next update will be a *tad* late, really sorry to leave it on a literal cliff hanger, but to distract you:
> 
> Look at this AMAZING fanart that @doydoune completely BLINDSIDED me with on tumblr! It's hilarious!! Stupendous!! Incroyable!!! 
> 
> https://doydoune.tumblr.com/post/620764412189474816/hey-quarantinevibes2020-stop-making-hilarious


	8. famILY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dammit Virgil-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!  
> Sorry again for the late chapter! I meant to post when I got back yesterday but it was 1 am and I kind of just crashed on my bed 😅 so thank you so much for your patience and your support!! Hope you enjoy the chapter ;)
> 
> ALSO the AMAZING @anartisticexpression illustrated the scene from this and last chapter. It's soooo beautiful and I don't even have the words to describe how it feels to have my writing brought to life like this. You can check it out here!
> 
> https://anartisticexpression.tumblr.com/post/633792554025009152/up-above-is-a-scene-from-quarantinevibes2020

“ _VIRGIL!”_ Roman screamed and Virgil fell backwards. He felt his stomach drop and he grinned and flipped over. A few bugs hit his cheeks, but he was going too fast to be annoyed. The ground was coming awfully close, though, and for the first time since downing the batch of liquid courage, Virgil felt a needling thought that he may have possibly been a bit of a dumbass.

Something solid hit him from the side and Virgil felt himself get knocked away from the cliff. Suddenly, his falling was halted. Virgil’s face was covered by something red, white, and warm. It was holding him fast and Virgil wrestled his face away from it and looked down.

He was suspended about 100 feet from the ground. Below him, an air vent had opened and was sending a stream of air that kept him floating. Virgil looked back at the mass that was holding tightly onto him.

It was Roman. His eyes pinpricks and his chest heaving. He looked down.

“Jesus _Christ_ Virgil,” Roman breathed and pulled Virgil’s face back in as they floated slowly down towards the ground.

“My hero,” Virgil said, his voice muffled by the cloth of Roman’s shirt. When they landed, Roman’s legs buckled and they both fell on the ground. Roman rolled over, shook himself, and went to Virgil.

“Are you ok?” he asked, frantically checking him for injury and Virgil waved him away.

“I’m fine, Princey,” Virgil said easily and laid his sweatshirt on the ground to act as a blanket to sit on.

“Oh, okay,” Roman said and took a deep breath in, “then WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”

Virgil shrugged, “Proving a point.”

“BY JUMPING OFF A CLIFF?”

Virgil shrugged again and laid down on his sweatshirt, “I knew you’d save me, Roman. And don’t try and give me that ‘anyone would have done it’ bs.”

Roman huffed, “How did you know I’d come after you?” he asked, his voice lower in volume.

Virgil sat up, “Because it’s _you_ Princey. Being a hero is practically in your blood,” Virgil glanced at the air vent, “did you even know that thing was there before you jumped after me?”

Roman rubbed his neck, “I kind of remembered on the way down,” he muttered and Virgil grinned.

“See. I told you. You saved me, Roman. And not just with the cliff. You’ve been dragging yourself all day through the mindscape to help me. You put aside your own needs and talked to sides that you didn’t want to talk to, all to make sure I’m ok. You _are_ daring and brave and selfless in all the right ways. You’re a true hero.”

Roman opened his mouth to argue and closed it. He stared at him before sitting down and gave Virgil a small smile.

“Thanks,” he said. Small and simple, but the word carried volumes. Virgil smiled back.

“No problem, I mean, damn, what a day. I can’t believe we jumped off a cliff!” Virgil laughed for a moment before stopping. He shot up.

“I can’t believe we jumped off a cliff,” he repeated, “holy shit we just jumped off a cliff holy shit, holy _shit._ Where’s my freaking hoodie?”

“Virgil?”

Virgil yanked on his hoodie and paced, “We could have died! We should have died! Splat, on the ground! Or into the side of the cliff or speared by a passing bird or choked on a bug or- or”

Roman put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder and Virgil forced himself to take a breath.

“I’m assuming the liquid courage has worn off then?” Roman said with a smirk when Virgil calmed himself down and Virgil shoved at him.

“Yeah, you think?” he said and pulled his hood over his eyes, “ugggghhhh, I’m never going to let myself forget any of this,” he said as the day’s events rammed into him full force, “Why did I want to eat a lightbulb?! Why did I steal Janus’s hat?!”

“According to you it was to ‘fight the system’ and ‘fulfill your dream of being a ‘50s show tune star’” Roman offered. Virgil just pulled his hood down lower so that only his mouth was showing and groaned.

“That’s it. I’m staying here and never leaving. This,” Virgil said, taking off his hood and patting the grass around him, “this is my home now.”

Roman rolled his eyes and ruffled Virgil’s hair, “Ah, come now, you’re back to your old self! This is cause for celebration!”

Virgil scratched his neck, “Yeah, back to making everyone feel uneasy about every decision,” he grumbled. Roman scoffed and got up. He held out a hand to Virgil who stared for a moment before taking it and getting up as well.

“Are you kidding? If you stayed like that for a moment longer, I would have lost it,” Roman smiled, “I, for one, am glad to have our good old worry wort back,” he said and Virgil smiled back. Roman waved his hand and a door back to the mindscape appeared. 

“Well, I assume that you’ve completed your list. So now what?” Roman asked. Virgil sighed. 

“Now,” Virgil said, stretched, and walked forwards, “now I think we deserve some freaking dinner.”

-

When they made it back into the common room, everyone was already sitting and Patton had prepared the table and dinner. Steamed carrots and beans, a pot with a shimmering, dark brown soup, slices of bread, and a tied-up roast all sat in the middle of the table. Virgil couldn’t help but drool a bit. The others noticed Virgil’s presence and he held a hand up.

“I shall allow exactly one minute for all teasing about what happened today, but after that not a _word_.”

Remus scoffed, “Well that’s hardly enough time to-”

“50 seconds!” Virgil yelled and Remus let out a cry.

“I thought you were sweet,” Patton said, “but a little reckless. Glad to have you back, kiddo.”

“The experiment was my fault, sorry you had to go through the ill effects,” Logan said and Virgil smiled while waving off his apology.

“If you say nothing about what happened, I won’t either,” Janus said in a way that seemed sly to the others, but really Virgil knew was his way of making sure the ‘Janus kitten’ incident wouldn’t be revealed to anyone else.

Roman looked like he was thinking, but then blushed bright red and covered his face, “You were too powerful,” he muttered. Virgil quirked an eyebrow at that before remembering _oh god exactly how much flirting did I do with Princey?_ Along with the follow up thought which was _Hey, that was actually kind of fun._

Remus waved his hands around “Eh-ah lightbulbs! Um-” he stuttered.

“Times up!” Virgil said. Remus gasped in protest, but Virgil held his ground. He looked at the table.

“Damn, Pat. You really went all out,” Virgil said and Patton lit up and gestured for Roman and Virgil to sit down so that they could all start eating.

“And I made it all in one pot too, slow cookers are amazing!” Patton exclaimed as Logan, now wearing his normal shirt and tie, began passing around the plates. The six of them served themselves and Patton put a piece of roast and sliced bread on Virgil’s plate. “So you’re really all back to normal now kiddo?” he asked and Virgil nodded. Janus raised an eyebrow at Virgil and Roman.

“Judging from your totally put-together appearances, I assume you went through with the dare?”

“Oh, yes I’m curious. What were the rest of the tasks?” Logan asked and pushed up his glasses. Roman ticked off the tasks as he spoke.

“Well, you know we baked brownies with Patton, we helped Remus with, uh,” he stopped and Logan raised an eyebrow.

“With the prank?” he asked and Roman nodded sheepishly. Logan waved his hand.

“It’s fine, well played Remus,” he said and Remus squinted his eyes as Roman continued.

“We played truth or dare with Janus and then we jumped off a cliff,” Roman finished and Patton nodded along for a moment before shooting up, a bean hanging out of his mouth.

“You did _WHAT_?!”

“I know,” Virgil said and put his hood up, “I can’t believe it either.”

“You’re the one who jumped first,” Roman pointed out.

“You did _WHAT?!_ ” Patton screamed again, this time at Virgil and Virgil shrugged. Patton sputtered and Logan had to guide him back into his chair so that he wouldn’t choke on his food.

Virgil cleared his throat, “Yeah, well. You caught me in those big strong arms of yours didn’t you?” he said and wiggled an eyebrow at Roman who gaped for a moment.

“I thought you said the effects of the Liquid Courage were gone!” he squeaked, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“They are. It’s just amazingly easy and incredibly entertaining to make you blush.”

Roman’s blush grew deeper, “It! It is not!”

“Oh really?” Virgil said and leaned forwards, “You’ve got beautiful eyes, Princey.”

Roman stuttered, the blush filling his face now.

“I actually _do_ like your new outfit, Roman. The yellow tassels are quite tasteful,” Janus said sincerely, joining in.

“Your ideas may not have the morbid undertones that make mine pop, but they have their own flair,” Remus added.

“YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL, MOST BEAUTIFULEST PRINCE IN ALL THE LAND,” Patton sobbed.

Roman stuttered and turned to Logan desperately, quietly pleading to get them to stop. Logan sighed and Roman’s shoulders slumped in relief. Logan turned to Roman.

“I know it’s been mentioned before, but you really are quite handsome, Roman,” Logan said. Roman’s eyes widened, he said nothing for a good five seconds, and then he buried his face in his hands and put his head on the table. Virgil could practically see the steam rising from him.

“We were supposed to be teasing about the experiment and _Virgil,”_ he whined. Everyone laughed and Roman eventually looked up, a small smile playing on his face. Virgil turned to Logan.

“Speaking of experiments, what was that big project you’ve been working on, L?”

Logan brightened, “Would you like me to show you?” he asked, excitement clear on his face. Virgil laughed.

“As long as I don’t have to drink it,” he said and Logan jumped up, went to his room, and came back with a vial filled halfway with a bubbling, purple liquid. He took one of the empty, dirty dishes from the table, placed a single drop on it, and held up the plate as it cleaned itself.

“Neato!” Patton exclaimed, “Instant cleaner!”

Logan shook his head, “There’s more.” He opened the kitchen drawers and put two drops in. The haphazardly thrown utensils began to vibrate and pick themselves up. The forks, knives, and spoons grouped themselves together and the drawer organized itself in an instant.

Remus laughed, “Well, that certainly cuts down on chore time, but why,” he stopped, his eyes widening suddenly, “wait. The vial is only filled halfway. Where’s the rest of the solution?”

Logan sat back down and arched an eyebrow.

“I wonder,” he said with a small smile as the other sides looked between the two of them in confusion. Remus stood up.

“You _didn’t_ ,” he screeched, popped out of the kitchen for a full two minutes, and came back with a howl.

“MY ROOM! MY BEAUTIFUL, MESSY, CHAOTIC ROOM!” he wailed and Logan coughed something that sounded like ‘payback’ under his breath. Roman laughed and Virgil rolled his eyes.

“You pranked Remus by cleaning his room?” he asked Logan who nodded.

“And organizing his closet. And his drawer sets.”

“Nice,” Virgil said.

“You _monster_ ,” Remus groaned and put his head on the table. Logan let himself preen for a bit before looking at Virgil and putting a hand to his chin.

“So, it seems that you accomplished the task you set out to do as evidenced by the effects of the liquid courage wearing off. But, surely you weren’t actually planning on doing all those activities today?”

Virgil rubbed his chin. To be honest, he wasn’t sure how the list had gotten done. Logan was right, he had _definitely_ not planned to jump off a cliff today. Virgil looked at his original list, now that he could actually read it again.

Virgil’s Master Plan for being able to eat a sandwich without wanting to Internally Combust!

  1. Logan- doesn’t like being ignored. Probably the easiest to talk to, listen to him/ validate
  2. Patton- sad? Guilty? Probably?? Doesn’t say when he’s upset, maybe get him to open up with brownies or cookies??
  3. Remus- practically living his best life tbh. Make sure he’s good with Roman I guess
  4. ~~The hiss bitch~~ ~~hissy fit~~ ~~the fake snake~~ Janus- truth is I don’t like him. Find out if he’s really evil to protect Thomas
  5. Roman- upset about callback, has somehow jumped to the conclusion that he’s not a hero anymore- fix that ASAP



Virgil read it over again and scratched his head. Somehow, he really had gotten to all of his tasks, even if he took the long, _long_ way around. He looked up and everyone’s eyes were on him.

“What?” he asked

“Well don’t hold out on us, emo. What did the list really say? What was your true task?”

Virgil squirmed and looked at the five of them, around the table and taking part in one of Patton’s coveted family dinners. Remus still vibrating angrily from Logan’s ‘prank’, Roman patting his face to rid himself of his blush, Janus arranging his carrots and beans into some sort of abstract art, and Logan and Patton waiting for Virgil’s answer. Virgil used a fork to put his roast in between two slices of bread.

Virgil grinned, his famILY was back together. It was all he had wanted, but they didn’t have to know that.

“I just wanted to eat a damn sandwich,” he said and took a bite, chuckling at the other’s mystified expressions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that's the end! To everyone who got this far, thank you so much for reading!! All your comments/ kudos/ support have really kept me afloat during quarantine 🥺❤. They say that writing is like having vivid hallucinations that become real once you write them down and that reading is like sitting in a room, vivdly hallucinating as you read, so thanks for hallucinating with me! (lol)
> 
> If you'd like more hallucinations... (not a sentence I thought I'd ever type, but warning for a self plug): Did you enjoy this story? Did you think there wasn't enough a n g s t?? Do you think everyone's favorite nerd should have been featured more? Then check out my next fic: Faulty Logic ! 
> 
> And of course, of course regardless if you decide to read on, thank you again for reading THIS fic, I really hope you enjoyed it! Until next time :D


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